My dad found out about Bella. I guess he had me tailed. He doesn't think I did anything with her but he warned her to stay away from me and paid her to never breathe a word. I am so mad. I really enjoyed spending time with her and learning new things. We were together for a while. Is this what heartache is? I dont like it.

I found a webite for having affairs. I think I'm gonna try it out. Maybe it will be ok. Maybe if I see bunches of different women dad will never catch on. Maybe I will see Bella again. I liked her. I would leave everything for her. Except my dad would murder me.

I love my wife. I don't want more kids, thats all sex was for before I met Bella. We just aren't compatible anymore.

I've only had one other relationship.  When I was 12 my parents decided I was going to marry well. They picked the girl and talked to her father who agreed. Why not have an arranged marriage to keep the kids on the right path? It wasn't a real relationship. We couldn't talk, couldn't touch, could hardly even look at eachother. Then I sinned, my sins found me out and the relationship was broken off. I was relieved. My dad still is upset about that falling through. They were about to find my sister a mate but decided I had ruined the whole betrothal idea. So courtship happened. I hope my sisters avoid it. There is no fun in a loveless marriage.

So I called Bella. I'm not sure what I was thinking was going to happen. I didnt relly want to, but I really wanted to know what kind of fun she meant. She invited me to her house. I told my wife I had a business meeting, would she watch the shop? She never suspected.

I went to Bella's and she was very nice. She brought me a coke. We talked about a variety of things. She was actually interested in what I had to say. I could be myself.

She put her hand on my thigh and it tingled. Then she kissed me and it was like fire. There was a sudden burst of passion and suddenly I didn't care what anyone thought. I didnt care that it was wrong. My arms wrapped around her and she kissed me tounge and all. Then she reached down and unbuttoned my pants and shoved them down. She took her hand and touched me down below, and then grinned at me. She dropped down on her knees and took me in her mouth. This brought on a new sensation I had never felt before. I can't describe it but it was wonderful. I went in her mouth and felt bad about it, but she swallowed and said it was fine, thats supposed to happen. She asked if my wife ever did that and I said no. She asked if I wanted to try on her. She got down to nothing and told me what to do. So I licked and nibbled and sucked until she was screaming my name. I was scared at first and stopped but she told me it was fine she loved it and don't stop. I kept on until she said it was done. And then we lay there and I held her.

It was like magic. Then she said we needed to get back to work. She said she hoped we could play again sometime.

Later that night I asked my wife if I could try something new. Once she figured out what I wanted to do she said "That's gross. You shouldn't do everything you read on the Internet. "

A woman came to my workplace today. She was pretty. She wore a blue blouse and jeans. She also had short hair.

We struck up an easy conversation. She was nice. Her name was Bella. She leaned on the counter and I caught sight of her breasts. They looked soft. She caught me looking and said "JJ, if you are ever looking to have some fun, here's my number." And tossed me a business card. She sold houses. I told her I was married, and she said "I know you are. I know who you are and trust me, I won't tell a soul. Just think about it."

She walked away and I felt the temptation rising inside of me. I might call her. Its wrong and I shouldn't but.... maybe.

I have two kids and my wife is pregnant with our third.

I love my kids, and my wif3. I am so tired of this. I wish I hadn't married young. I wish I had more life. I wish I had been born to different parents. Or at least that my parents weren't quite so strict.

I never got to do all the things I wanted to do. Go to law school, see the world, date. I basically lived at home until I was 20 and then married the first girl I set eyes on. My mom always talks about how lucky us kids are to have been homeschooled, to have been taught how to be Christians, to have built in friends, to be protected from ungodliness. A couple of days ago I mentioned to her that I felt like I had been unprepared for life and she said "Your father and I raised you perfectly.  You are more than prepared to be a soldier in God's army. You can turn away from temptation." Yeah mom, thanks.

I tried once to go into a bar, but it got back to my dad and he drug me out yelling about how I was a disgrace and I made my family look bad.